Change is in the air.

"Change is the only constant." - Heraclitus

I could say I hate change but that's giving change a bad rap. And to be honest, I actually love change. Shake things up - spice up the routine - bring on the new!!! Especially when we're talking about things I want to change (or need to change). But this isn't the change I want to run from. The change I want to just ignore and hope will go away. Maybe if I throw my covers over my head, or close my eyes real tight and think happy thoughts, or even clink my heels, then maybe. Just maybe. Hey, it worked for Dorothy. But alas, change is inevitable. And sometimes you're ready for it and sometimes you're not but either way, the choice isn't yours.

Change has been front and center for me lately. And it isn't even change in my own life, just the lives of those around me. My grandmother losing her husband and selling her house in Pensacola for a new way of living here in NOLA. My mother getting adjusted to having to care daily for her aging mother and adapting to a new routine. My brother and sister-in-law having a baby next month and eager to move into their new home. My ex quitting his job and making a commitment to leave NOLA in search of something new and different - in New York or Oklahoma or who knows where. A best friend and partner-in-crime at work who took a new job and left me without a sounding (and venting) board on a daily basis in the office. A friend who decided after four years in NOLA that a new chapter awaited him, one in St. Louis. A boy I recently met who has lost both his parents in the last 3 months. And the list goes on. 

Several of those changes above haven't directly impacted me too greatly aside from feeling a lot of empathy. But others will change my course a bit. They will push me out of my comfort zone and force me to sit in some discomfort and figure out the way forward. And I know that's good for me. Growth. These changes also force me to stop and take stock - look around - and think about where I'm at with my own life and where I want to go and be. Am I playing it too safe? Limiting myself? Clinging too tightly to my comfort zone? Not questions I'm prepared or ready to answer on this gloomy Saturday.

But today I will own that I am sitting with heaviness. Change can do that to you. It can also prevent you from taking a breath and giving thanks for the chapters in our lives that lead us to the next - whether we embraced those new chapters with open arms or were pulled into them with our feet dragging. My feet are dragging a bit right now.