Displaced.

 Displaced. It's the word that in most ways encapsulates how I'm feeling. And yet I fared so much better than my neighbors down the bayou. My home is structurally sound and in tact. The tree that fell is being taken down today, and I'll shift gears to focus on the fence and deck next. No MAJOR damage. And I send some good vibes into the universe each night that my trash will soon be picked up. The city stinks, and I haven't had trash pick up in almost 4 weeks. Well before the storm and before we had to empty all the contents of our fridge/freezers. A breeding ground for NO THANK YOU. 

So where does this feeling of displacement come from? I've slept in my own bed only two nights since August 25. The beach trip that quickly wasn't, a two-week stint in Houston, a quick trip home to clean up debris and check in, and now back in Houston for another week. I could be home. But internet is spotty, there's that stench, and the city is still resource strapped. So I figured better to be in Houston and be out of the way than home. Just in time to greet Hurricane Nicholas that quickly moved through Houston, shook the trees a bit and knocked out our power for 24 hours, but didn't dump nearly the amount of rain NOLA has received. NOLA needs a breather. She's unavailable. 

I saw something the other day that said in 2020-21 the Gulf Coast has seen something like TWENTY NAMED STORMS. No wonder I'm exhausted. Is this the new normal? If it is, I don't know that I can continue to live on the Gulf Coast. Love you, but you're killing me. Tanking my spirit. Travis and I have talked about starting a new chapter outside of Texas and Louisiana. I wish I had that crystal ball to show me where life takes me in the next 3-5 years. Time will tell. 

I'm tired of holding my breath. I'm tired of going from 0 to 60 when a storm appears in the Gulf. I'm oh so ready after three weeks of being on the road / not home to get back home and nest for a bit. See you soon, NOLA. I say all that while also being beyond grateful for a relationship that provides a safe haven and home away from home. Travis and I have never spent 3.5 weeks together. For a long distance relationship approaching two years at the end of this year, time is precious and 3.5 weeks is a GIFT. Displaced AND grateful. The both/and. 

So that's where I'm at. Displaced. Grateful. Ready for rest.