Hate can't win.

Fifty confirmed dead. Over 50 others injured. The worst mass shooting in US History. Fueled by hate. Many communities rocked to their core. Families grieving. And I'm lost in the swirl of it all. When I woke this morning and looked at my phone to see the CNN notifications, I was like WTF!? I was having difficulty processing it. So as I made my coffee and turned on the morning news, I watched in horror. I think of how many nights I've been in the French Quarter at Pub or Oz, 700 or Good Friends and how easily that could have happened here. In my immediate community. My intimate, small community where surely I would have known some of the victims. How easily Orlando could have been New Orleans. I think about this month of PRIDE for the LGBT community and this mantra for the last year that we have been chanting, #lovewins. I think about all these things and I weep. 

It's too much. It isn't supposed to happen and yet, we keep doing this to each other. We keep hating and hurting. We keep killing. We keep destroying community instead of building an inclusive one. We keep pleading for a better and safer tomorrow and are held hostage by fear and the reality that safety is only an illusion. We vote for politicians who talk about building walls and we tear each other down over political rhetoric and ideological beliefs. When will be stop?

We call for action and I'm not sure my role. I'm not sure what my part is. I think about my work with LeaderShape, Inc and my commitment to creating a just, caring, and thriving world. And I don't think that's enough. What do I do? What can I do? For surely there must be more that I can do to help break this cycle. To help end this pain. I'm so tired of the hate and the loss of life. The senseless tragedies are  becoming too much to bear. I can't stomach one more discussion over the 2nd amendment and gun control and better background checks and mental illness and how guns don't kill, people kill. I don't care what we label it because putting it in a box doesn't do anything but allow us to continue to points fingers. I'm so frustrated and angry. I scream.

So I'm left here. This place of sorrow and pain. This place of fear and solicitude. This place of anger. I want to believe that LOVE will win. I want to believe that we are capable of valuing human life and worth and can create a better tomorrow. I have to believe this for my niece and nephew. Hate won last night but I refuse to believe it always will. That world is too dark and I need to be in the light. And I hope you will join me.