A shot of enough.
I'm slated to get my flu shot this week (hey flu season!) and it has me thinking that the shot I'd really like to receive is a solid dose of ENOUGH. One shot to remind me that I am enough and help fill some of the current void in my life of craving connection and not being in a relationship.
I've poured a lot of energy into men in this last year. Men I wanted to explore a relationship with. Men I thought could be someone worth investing in long term. Relationship currency. And things never panned out. I'm not big on the "what ifs" or the "what could have beens." I'm a proponent of invest and give it all you've got and if it doesn't work out, it wasn't meant to be. You swung for the fences and you struck out. Tomorrow you'll have another chance up at bat. Tomorrow.
Enough.
And yet. When everyone in your community is dating and has that special someone, and your social media feed is filled with weddings, engagements, babies, dates and trips with significant others, it's easy to feel lonely. It's easy to feel that you're missing something. Or someone. Patience is a virtue I wasn't bestowed with. I know one day, some day, I'll be beyond grateful for all the waiting and all the patience for it will be lead me exactly where I'm supposed to be and to whom I'm supposed to be with. But today isn't a day I'm feeling particularly grateful.
It's easy to feel like you're not enough.
I was out at dinner this past week with a handful of guys from my kickball team and I was in my own head. Quiet. Not a character trait many would use to describe me. And a couple of the guys kept asking what was up. I deflected. How do you tell a table full of friends when you're engaging in banter and celebrating the week that you're lonely? That you aren't feeling like you are enough for yourself.
That's the goal right? Be enough for yourself? Be enough to yourself? To not place so much weight on a relationship that may never exist? Not let life pass you by and miss out on the experiences you want for yourself just because you don't have someone to share them with? These are the questions I wrestle with. And I think it's OK to say that while most days you do decently well with remembering to invest in yourself and focus on the many friendships and others in your community who can fill your cup, we all have our moments, days, weeks, or even months where we crave for something more. Yearn for something more.
And until that day comes, a boost of ENOUGH would surely help keep the loneliness away. Can I pay a co-pay for that?
I've poured a lot of energy into men in this last year. Men I wanted to explore a relationship with. Men I thought could be someone worth investing in long term. Relationship currency. And things never panned out. I'm not big on the "what ifs" or the "what could have beens." I'm a proponent of invest and give it all you've got and if it doesn't work out, it wasn't meant to be. You swung for the fences and you struck out. Tomorrow you'll have another chance up at bat. Tomorrow.
Enough.
And yet. When everyone in your community is dating and has that special someone, and your social media feed is filled with weddings, engagements, babies, dates and trips with significant others, it's easy to feel lonely. It's easy to feel that you're missing something. Or someone. Patience is a virtue I wasn't bestowed with. I know one day, some day, I'll be beyond grateful for all the waiting and all the patience for it will be lead me exactly where I'm supposed to be and to whom I'm supposed to be with. But today isn't a day I'm feeling particularly grateful.
It's easy to feel like you're not enough.
I was out at dinner this past week with a handful of guys from my kickball team and I was in my own head. Quiet. Not a character trait many would use to describe me. And a couple of the guys kept asking what was up. I deflected. How do you tell a table full of friends when you're engaging in banter and celebrating the week that you're lonely? That you aren't feeling like you are enough for yourself.
That's the goal right? Be enough for yourself? Be enough to yourself? To not place so much weight on a relationship that may never exist? Not let life pass you by and miss out on the experiences you want for yourself just because you don't have someone to share them with? These are the questions I wrestle with. And I think it's OK to say that while most days you do decently well with remembering to invest in yourself and focus on the many friendships and others in your community who can fill your cup, we all have our moments, days, weeks, or even months where we crave for something more. Yearn for something more.
And until that day comes, a boost of ENOUGH would surely help keep the loneliness away. Can I pay a co-pay for that?
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