"I see you friend, I see you."
A soul friend lives in Seattle, and though we don't connect frequently, when we do our interaction never fails to fill my cup. Fuels my spirit. I hope you know those people and I hope they exist in your world. I was emailing with her catching up on life in 2019 and as a response to something I shared, she wrote:
I don't have an answer, or really advice, because I think we each have to navigate it in our own way -- but I see you friend, I see you.
It hit me. It's my core value of community in action. It's my (borrowed) mantra of JUST SHOW UP in practice. It speaks truth to bullshit and oozes presence in a way that I didn't even know I needed in that moment and instance. No advice. No solution. 100% validation.
Why am I sharing this? Why is this resonating for me?
Because we're so caught up in our own worlds that when the people in our lives reach out with their own issues, we go into problem solving mode. We offer advice. We seek to fix. We're solution-oriented people. We focus more on the problem than on how the person is feeling. Or we attempt to fix their feeling. As if that's possible. Let me tell you how you should feel. We need to keep it moving. So slap a band-aid on it, we say, or rip off the band-aid; be strong; it's not that big a deal; etc. Whatever it takes to move on. But none of that actually helps us if we're being honest. Yes, there are those instances when someone says, "hey, I need your advice." But honestly, most of the time our feedback is unsolicited.
Feedback isn't the goal; empathy is.
J's response was a refreshing reminder that I don't have to do this thing called life alone. That being single isn't the same as being alone and that my experiences and feelings are valid and shared experiences because WE ARE ALL HUMANS. Perfectly imperfect. All trying to do our best and make magic happen in the mess. It feels good to been seen. It feels good to feel connection.
It's my reminder for this week. Be present, practice empathy, and show up for the people who need me.
I don't have an answer, or really advice, because I think we each have to navigate it in our own way -- but I see you friend, I see you.
It hit me. It's my core value of community in action. It's my (borrowed) mantra of JUST SHOW UP in practice. It speaks truth to bullshit and oozes presence in a way that I didn't even know I needed in that moment and instance. No advice. No solution. 100% validation.
Why am I sharing this? Why is this resonating for me?
Because we're so caught up in our own worlds that when the people in our lives reach out with their own issues, we go into problem solving mode. We offer advice. We seek to fix. We're solution-oriented people. We focus more on the problem than on how the person is feeling. Or we attempt to fix their feeling. As if that's possible. Let me tell you how you should feel. We need to keep it moving. So slap a band-aid on it, we say, or rip off the band-aid; be strong; it's not that big a deal; etc. Whatever it takes to move on. But none of that actually helps us if we're being honest. Yes, there are those instances when someone says, "hey, I need your advice." But honestly, most of the time our feedback is unsolicited.
Feedback isn't the goal; empathy is.
J's response was a refreshing reminder that I don't have to do this thing called life alone. That being single isn't the same as being alone and that my experiences and feelings are valid and shared experiences because WE ARE ALL HUMANS. Perfectly imperfect. All trying to do our best and make magic happen in the mess. It feels good to been seen. It feels good to feel connection.
It's my reminder for this week. Be present, practice empathy, and show up for the people who need me.
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