EI: Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a term I've become more familiar with the more I've delved into the LeaderShape Institute program curriculum. But as a concept in and of itself, it's something I've been intimately familiar with for quite some time.
In a nutshell for those of you out there wondering what I'm talking about, EI is a skill set one can build upon and grow in. In essence, EI is divided into two categories:
Once you've mastered the personal competency, your ability to keep yourself in check, you move into...
What I love about EI is that it's not a box you can check like graduating from college or buying your first home or jumping out of a plane. You don't get to be like, CHECK! Did that! I'm good!! EI is a process you, me, and everyone else is constantly having to navigate and negotiate. EI doesn't discriminate unless you're a robot but as long as you're human, you can't opt out and you've got some work to do.
I've been thinking a lot about EI lately as I navigate both situations and days themselves when my emotions and feelings are too big and too much for me to easily manage and it's more like a downpour than a trickle of emotion raining down on me. What I've learned and what I'm learning is that having that awareness allows me to figure out when I need to take time to breathe, to step away, to reach out and ask for help, or when I need to remove myself from situations so I don't fail to self-manage and end up doing more harm than good in managing my relationships. I'm also learning that you can't be a perfectionist with EI because you'll only end up beating yourself up and apologizing for your feelings. And the truth is, you should never have to apologize for how you feel. But you may need to apologize for your inability to self-manage and the impact your actions may cause in the social competency realm.
Just food for thought....
Cheers.
In a nutshell for those of you out there wondering what I'm talking about, EI is a skill set one can build upon and grow in. In essence, EI is divided into two categories:
Category 1: Personal competency
Your ability to engage in self-assessment to figure out how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way and then practice self-management to ensure you don't go flying off the handle in a meeting or laugh inappropriately at a funeral, etc. Within the context of EI, personal competency is what HOPEFULLY stops you from bragging about a new job in front of your best friend who just lost theirs, or gushing about a relationship in front of the person who just suffered a loss.Once you've mastered the personal competency, your ability to keep yourself in check, you move into...
Category 2: Social competency
Within social competency, because you've got your own stuff together and aren't seen as a ticking emotional time bomb, you can focus your efforts on building relationships with others by practicing empathy and active listening to effectively manage your relationships in essence becoming a better leader within the context of the LeaderShape curriculum or a better friend, spouse, partner, colleague, family member, etc. Social competency is all about relationship management.What I love about EI is that it's not a box you can check like graduating from college or buying your first home or jumping out of a plane. You don't get to be like, CHECK! Did that! I'm good!! EI is a process you, me, and everyone else is constantly having to navigate and negotiate. EI doesn't discriminate unless you're a robot but as long as you're human, you can't opt out and you've got some work to do.
I've been thinking a lot about EI lately as I navigate both situations and days themselves when my emotions and feelings are too big and too much for me to easily manage and it's more like a downpour than a trickle of emotion raining down on me. What I've learned and what I'm learning is that having that awareness allows me to figure out when I need to take time to breathe, to step away, to reach out and ask for help, or when I need to remove myself from situations so I don't fail to self-manage and end up doing more harm than good in managing my relationships. I'm also learning that you can't be a perfectionist with EI because you'll only end up beating yourself up and apologizing for your feelings. And the truth is, you should never have to apologize for how you feel. But you may need to apologize for your inability to self-manage and the impact your actions may cause in the social competency realm.
Just food for thought....
Cheers.
Comments