Recalibrate.

I was catching up briefly with my sister last week on the phone and she just didn't sound well. No enthusiasm in her voice, no excitement over anything that was happening in the moment. Everything was covered with shades of grey. I asked her several times what was up and she kept saying she was fine. Nope. Not buying it. So when I refused to stop asking, she opened up and told me she was just feeling tired and overwhelmed a bit and wasn't feeling very grounded. Sounds like you need to recalibrate I told her. That's exactly it she said.

Now I know we don't usually use that term to refer to people. But in the moment, the word fit to describe her situation and the more that I've thought about it, the more I've realized it's a good term to describe my current state, or need, rather.

Last week/end was a doozy. For several reasons really but at the end of the day without divulging too much into my inner thoughts and things I don't really want to put out there on the blog, the point is I realized something needed to change and I needed to take a step back to recalibrate and fine tune. If I could, I'd prominently hang a sign around my neck that says, "CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE" but that's not how the real world works and you don't really get to throw up the deuces and "check out" of your responsibilities until you feel like re-entering the game of life. You have to keep playing while engaging in the inner work as well to re-situate and re-ground yourself.

I began my quest to recalibrate yesterday by first deleting the Facebook application from my phone. You may be wondering what that has anything to do with it but I've realized I'm spending way too much of my life on social media and neglecting some major self-care in the process. Sure, Facebook can be a great distraction, but it can also lead you to compare your state of surviving versus thriving to others and at the end of the day, it's not a healthy way to live.

Next, I'm re-reading Brene Brown. If you've never read her work or at least listened to her TED Talk on the power of vulnerability, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? I've seriously considered giving every member in my immediate family her most recent book, Daring Greatly, because I believe it's a life changer and something everyone needs to read. But I'm starting with an earlier work of hers, The Gifts of Imperfection, and reading the book not like I would a novel but more as a workbook or a resource guide to force me to spend more time listening to myself and doing the inner work to get myself back to solid footing.

I'm sure my quest will encompass a number of other tasks (and challenges) along the way and the likelihood is I'll have some successes and victories and some setbacks. But I'm committed to the cause and I figured there was no time like the present to take a good look at myself in the mirror and make sure I'm 100% content with the face looking back at me.

So here goes! Time to recalibrate. Cheers.

When it seems impossible

And you think that you might be lost

When your feet start to run

And the shackles come off

Look around for the things you need

And you'll find them inside

It's a good day, it's a good day to be alive

It's a good day, it's a good day, it's a good day

-Ron Pope, "Good Day"