Doubt.

No, I'm not talking about the Academy Award nominee for Best Picture featuring a standout, all-star cast. I'm talking about the feelings that have resurrected lately as I sit through training session after training session wondering if I'm going to be able to handle this new position. And here's the thing: I KNOW I am. But I can't stop the doubt from rearing it's ugly head as I dump form on top of form, protocol on top of protocol, and "always remember" on top of every "always remember." It's beginning to be overwhelming.

I remember once hearing that the human brain can only recount things in a series of 7. So for example, if you ask someone to remember 7 words, numbers, letters, etc., they should be able to do it with no problem. But give them 8 and man, you're asking for it. T-R-O-U-B-L-E. At this point in time (not like I'm counting), I think I'm up to being asked to remember 127 things. I'm not kidding. So needless to say, it's adding up and it's A LOT! And I'm plagued by the desire to want to excel in this position and ensure I don't forget to cross all my t's and dot all my i's.

I know I can handle this job. I conquered undergrad, a horrible first job, a slightly less horrible second job, and graduate school with flying colors. I even came out on top in many of those arenas. And I'll conquer this position too. Eventually. But in the now, as I continue to sit through each training session and feel even more overwhelmed with all the things I don't know about this institution, this functional area, and this position, I'm left with the dreaded D word.

But I'm determined to keep moving forward and take each day as it comes. And hopefully, I'll look back on all this in September and feel a sense of accomplishment and pride that I challenged myself to take a position that was far outside my comfort zone and survived my first few months!

Cheers.

Comments

Jackie said…
You'll be awesome! You're great at thinking on your feet. And if you ever have a question, you can just Nextel the maintenance guy.

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