Normal.

The point was made this evening that a commitment to social justice means an awareness that that commitment will come with discomfort to challenge those who don't share the same mindset. But what if you've spent your whole life feeling uncomfortable and all you're really seeking is comfort? Does it make you less of a practitioner, less of an ally, less of a person to desire comfort (even if it comes at the expense of a commitment to social justice)? This is the question plaguing my mind tonight.

What's so great about being normal? Probably nothing. What's so great about being accepted? Everything. All I've ever wanted, all I think anyone ever wants is to feel accepted. Imagine a high school world where the jocks and popular folk don't rule the school, where everyone has a safe place to "do them" without fear of being ridiculed, tormented, or even abused. What would that world be like? There were so many days where I wished I was "just like everyone else," when I wished I were "normal." And yet, I didn't have the short end of the stick by any means. Not at all. I wasn't a popular guy but I wasn't someone who stuck out as an easy target. I was the drama, youth group guy. And that worked for me. But I never really felt like I fit in during my high school days, never fully accepted by everyone.

And today, almost 8 years later, I'm proud of who I am, where I came from, and where I'm going. I'm strong, but I still yearn to be accepted by all. Who doesn't seek that out? Who doesn't want to feel comfortable in their own skin all the time? So as I continue that journey, I'm left wondering how to balance comfort with advocacy. Is there a line?

I don't know...