The funk.
I finally caught up tonight with a good friend from college on the phone. We haven't done the best job of keeping up lately with the crazies of life happening all around us but she usually keeps up with the blog and checks in from time to time on my life as I've laid it out in cyberspace. In her call today, she mentioned I hadn't updated the blog in a little over a week. True, I admitted. Truth is, I've become so TYPE A about my future that not having any updates made me not want to blog. And then there was the whole pinched nerve thing that happened Saturday night in my neck which prevented me from doing just about anything until later this evening and well, that left me with a whole lot of negativity and not much optimism to blog about. And who wants to read a whole lot about negativity? Nope.
Brothers & Sisters has been off the air for a few weeks but they had a 2-hour episode on last night that I sat down to watch this evening with my chicken and sausage pasta I threw together. And toward the end of the episode, Kevin toasted Justin and Rebecca with the line, "To trusting that the end is worth it, and to never letting go of its promise." So I'm stopping to think about what the end is...is it the end of grad school? this journey? or is it more literally the end of my life? Who knows! What I do know is that I am uncomfortable waiting for the end of this transition which hasn't even begun! I'm sitting in the funk telling myself I need to just BE and take this process one day at a time while balancing the TYPE A neurotic side of me that wants to know all the W's: where, when, and who the new people in my life will be. What am I doing with my stuff? Where am I going? When am I going? What am I doing in the meantime? Will I have to settle or be offered a position I am really jazzed about? Will the money be there? Will it be enough? And then I go bananas.
There's a little under 4 weeks left in my time here in Athens. I'm going to crank out 2 more papers, take 2 exams, attend Relay for Life, Boybutante, Spring Sing, a Banquet, a graduation party and a graduation cookout, Convocation, and Graduation and receive my master's degree. I'm going to Florida at the end of the month for an on campus interview at my grandmother's alma mater. I'm going to pack up all my stuff, say goodbye, shed a few tears, and hit the road. And I'm going to hope that the funk passes quickly and to trust that what's to come and what's waiting for me is a promise I look forward to.
Cheers.
Brothers & Sisters has been off the air for a few weeks but they had a 2-hour episode on last night that I sat down to watch this evening with my chicken and sausage pasta I threw together. And toward the end of the episode, Kevin toasted Justin and Rebecca with the line, "To trusting that the end is worth it, and to never letting go of its promise." So I'm stopping to think about what the end is...is it the end of grad school? this journey? or is it more literally the end of my life? Who knows! What I do know is that I am uncomfortable waiting for the end of this transition which hasn't even begun! I'm sitting in the funk telling myself I need to just BE and take this process one day at a time while balancing the TYPE A neurotic side of me that wants to know all the W's: where, when, and who the new people in my life will be. What am I doing with my stuff? Where am I going? When am I going? What am I doing in the meantime? Will I have to settle or be offered a position I am really jazzed about? Will the money be there? Will it be enough? And then I go bananas.
There's a little under 4 weeks left in my time here in Athens. I'm going to crank out 2 more papers, take 2 exams, attend Relay for Life, Boybutante, Spring Sing, a Banquet, a graduation party and a graduation cookout, Convocation, and Graduation and receive my master's degree. I'm going to Florida at the end of the month for an on campus interview at my grandmother's alma mater. I'm going to pack up all my stuff, say goodbye, shed a few tears, and hit the road. And I'm going to hope that the funk passes quickly and to trust that what's to come and what's waiting for me is a promise I look forward to.
Cheers.
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