Zen.

I am convinced I slept-walked through a zen garden two nights ago. There is no other may to describe the calmness and sense of peace I felt yesterday for the first time in a loooong time. I was happy go lucky. I had an "everything will work out" attitude. I was uber productive taking advantage of a finals free day to sell back a textbook, have lunch with my mentor, deposit $50 worth of change sitting on my desk into the bank, apply for a job in Chicago, lay out at the pool, go for a 3 mile run through campus, and enjoy television last night with friends.

I was so anxiety ridden last week over the potential job in Florida. Would I be offered it? Did I want it? Could I negotiate the salary and benefits? Could I live in another small college town? Could I afford to live off the salary if no negotiation were possible? I thought the job and I had connected and really expected them to call and offer me the position. They told me I could hear as early as last Friday or at the latest, beginning of this week. And here it is mid week with no call. And no reference calls either. But I made peace with it. If they call, great. If not, it wasn't meant to be. (Although I'm not sure how many interviews I can do and say, "it wasn't meant to be.")

Despite sleeping little to none last night thanks to a beeping smoke detector that needed a new battery and woke me at 1:30am and kept me up all night (note: taking out the old didn't make it stop), that peace has followed me into today. I took a final this morning and reserved a storage unit here in town to keep my stuff safe while I job search from home. I put some furniture on craigslist, sold my desk and chair, and have someone coming to look at the couch tomorrow. (I'm not selling all my furniture, just the desk/chair, sofa, and some artwork).

Hoping that the peace continues into the weekend when Mom and Dad arrive for graduation. And hopeful for a job to come...

Cheers.