The echoes fill my soul.
Second post today. Surprising for me, I know. I have these moments. I will feel compelled to write about something after I've already posted. I could wait until morning but who knows if I'll still want to write the same thing. So I'm carpe diem-ing, seizing the day, errr, moment, and submitting a second entry.
My autobiography is plaguing me. True story. For Student Development Theory, we are working on an assignment requiring us to sum up "the best four years of our lives" into a 25-30 page paper incorporating relevant student development theories we have been studying. Things like transition theories, identity development, moral development, and everything else in between. Sounds easy I guess but actually sitting down to start it is quite daunting. How does one even begin to make meaning out of four years of what I remember as being a roller coaster ride through hell and back? I'm not quite sure if it's better to set it up chronologically from freshman to senior year or focus instead on the "big picture moments" and go from there. I'm leaning more toward the second option. And that requires reliving some joyful and painful experiences and writing about the people and places that I shared those moments with. The first draft isn't due for 10 days or so and yet, I'm unnerved by it. I'm not sure if it's putting my life on paper for my professor to read or if it's the act of reflecting on who I am today and how college impacted that--the good and the bad.
I'm also feeling unsettled tonight for the first time in a long time since I've been here. I've had several conversations recently with friends in the cohort still not feeling connected or settled and I haven't really spent much time wondering how I was feeling. Just keeping busy. But more and more, I'm being forced to think about everything...Especially when the majority of our assignments aren't black and white. Instead, they're shades of gray. Reflective, soul-searching, meaning-finding projects with little to no direction. And I am beginning to struggle with so many of them building up at once.
I'm thinking of titling my autobiography after the title of my blog, "I'll find my city in my soul." The lyrics are from a Cowboy Mouth song, The Avenue, and I find they aptly reflect my journey to find both myself and my place in this crazy, ever-changing world. Perhaps that's where I'll start with my autobiography....whenever that happens to be...
Maybe tomorrow.
Cheers.
My autobiography is plaguing me. True story. For Student Development Theory, we are working on an assignment requiring us to sum up "the best four years of our lives" into a 25-30 page paper incorporating relevant student development theories we have been studying. Things like transition theories, identity development, moral development, and everything else in between. Sounds easy I guess but actually sitting down to start it is quite daunting. How does one even begin to make meaning out of four years of what I remember as being a roller coaster ride through hell and back? I'm not quite sure if it's better to set it up chronologically from freshman to senior year or focus instead on the "big picture moments" and go from there. I'm leaning more toward the second option. And that requires reliving some joyful and painful experiences and writing about the people and places that I shared those moments with. The first draft isn't due for 10 days or so and yet, I'm unnerved by it. I'm not sure if it's putting my life on paper for my professor to read or if it's the act of reflecting on who I am today and how college impacted that--the good and the bad.
I'm also feeling unsettled tonight for the first time in a long time since I've been here. I've had several conversations recently with friends in the cohort still not feeling connected or settled and I haven't really spent much time wondering how I was feeling. Just keeping busy. But more and more, I'm being forced to think about everything...Especially when the majority of our assignments aren't black and white. Instead, they're shades of gray. Reflective, soul-searching, meaning-finding projects with little to no direction. And I am beginning to struggle with so many of them building up at once.
I'm thinking of titling my autobiography after the title of my blog, "I'll find my city in my soul." The lyrics are from a Cowboy Mouth song, The Avenue, and I find they aptly reflect my journey to find both myself and my place in this crazy, ever-changing world. Perhaps that's where I'll start with my autobiography....whenever that happens to be...
Maybe tomorrow.
Cheers.
"The day a door is closed, the echoes fill your soul. They won't say which way to go, just trust your heart. To find what you're here for, open another door."
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